Creative Reasons Why I'm Not Wearing a Jacket

It's no lie that this winter has been excruciatingly long and cold, especially by Philadelphia's standards. At some point in the winter, we all hit a wall where we can no longer put up with the temperatures that are so frigid, they can cause a brain freeze externally. For me, when I hit this wall, I stop wearing jackets all together. (Unless, of course, it's literally 10 degrees outside. Then I'll make an exception.) This causes a lot of "Why aren't you wearing a jacket" questions from everybody, from strangers to my best friends. Normally I shrug my shoulders and follow up with an "I don't know" but these days, that doesn't seem to be enough of an explanation. So I have created a list of creative reasons why I'm not wearing my jacket to use the next time somebody asks me. Here's to hoping that spring is just around the corner.


1) I'm from Maine.

This is the only one I've actually used since I moved to Philly. Growing up in Maine, it's in your blood to tolerate freezing temperatures. Sure, after a while, the cold can wear us out. But we know how to handle it like pros. I mean, we basically are pros after all. Hello L.L. Bean! But when the temperatures start to rise a few degrees, it starts to feel like a heat wave. It's nothing to walk into Hannaford and see at least five people wearing either shorts or a t-shirt. So since Philadelphia is a solid 10 degrees warmer than Maine most days, I feel like I'm in a constant heat wave. I did go to school south of New England for a reason.


2) I gave up jackets for Lent.

Okay, you caught me. I'm not actually Catholic. But they don't know that.


3) I'm not wearing a jacket in protest of winter.

I'm trying a little bit of a "If you build it, they will come" approach with this one. Maybe if I don't wear a jacket, mother nature will take the hint and it will magically be May. *fingers crossed*


4) My dog ate my jacket.

Considering I live on campus and all animals other than fish are strictly prohibited, this one probably won't work...


5) My gay best friend said it looked better on him.

So he stole it.


6) I sent it to the starving children in Africa.

Wait. That doesn't work. Never mind.


7) It's currently under investigation as a murder weapon.

I'm sorry. I can't talk about it. I've been sworn to secrecy.


8) Under this sweater is a very thick layer of naturally growing wool.

I'm sort of a medical mystery, so I'm actually the subject of a lot of research studies right now.


9) I just don't want to. Okay?

It's as simple as that, people. So stop asking.